2017’s Worst Films

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Though I saw quite a few great films this year, I definitely saw some stinkers. The Mummy and Little Evil won’t make the worst films, but these next top ten will!

10) The Snowman – This convoluted, misogynistic mess of a movie relies too heavily on convenience to move the plot along. Seriously, how’s a raging alcoholic with no driver’s license a detective?

9) The Belko Experiment – Speaking of convoluted, we never learn what the point of the Battle Royale-like experiment is in The Belko Experiment. Instead, we just see a bunch of peoples’ heads explode, which is boring after the second head explosion.

8) King Arthur: Legend of the Sword – One cool, flashy montage is fine, but a dozen?! Guy Ritchie should have just made a 20-minute short film instead of making this lazy retelling of the Arthur fable.

7) Sandy Wexler – There’s nothing likable or charming about Adam Sandler’s titular character; instead, we’re forced to watch an unfunny loser for 2.5 hours (who told Sandler he could make a movie that long?). 

6) Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets – The great Luc Besson kills all potential in his latest film by focusing on the protagonists’ awkward relationship. Plus the non-existent chemistry between leads Dane DeHaan and Cara Delevigne digs the film’s grave deeper.

5) Death Note – Adapting an anime to the big screen doesn’t always work, as shown in Death Note. This is a huge misfire. Death Note spends too much time focusing on angsty, horny teenagers killing people and having sex rather than building its mythology and giving a demonic Willem Dafoe more to do.

4) A Cure for Wellness – There’s no point or clear resolution in Gore Verbinski’s overlong style-over-substance exercise, A Cure for Wellness. Verbinski and the screenwriters are desperate to shock their audience with torture and pedophiliac undertones since they couldn’t think of anything interesting to say.

3) Unforgettable – I hate to say this, but this hack job erotic thriller actually had potential. Katherine Heigl makes a convincing ice queen stalker, but Unforgettable is too unrealistic, ridiculous, and generic to take seriously. Save this one for a bad movie night with your friends like I did.

2) Baywatch – Baywatch made me more conservative when watching Dwayne Johnson’s movies. He and Zac Efron had a good time, but I didn’t. Baywatch relies on punch lines and bodily gags that we’ve seen before in better comedies.

1) Wish Upon – Wish Upon is the worst movie I saw in 2017, but I still had a blast watching it. It’s The Room of horror movies! The main characters are all beautifully stupid like in every straight-to-video horror movie, but Wish Upon makes those characters look like Stephen Hawking. How many wishes does it take a person to realize the wish box is doing more harm than good? Clearly more than one.

That’s it for my worst of the year. Thanks to all for reading and making this movie season a great one. What will 2018’s worst be? Stay tuned!

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“The Disaster Artist”

 

I did not hate The Disaster Artist. It’s not true. It’s bullshit! I did not hate it. I did naaaaaaaaaht…. Oh, hai reader!

Set between 1998 and 2003, The Disaster Artist follows Greg Sestero (Dave Franco) and Tommy Wiseau (James Franco) and documents their bizarre friendship. They meet in an acting class where Tommy’s fearless and unapologetic nature inspires Greg. After they encounter brutal rejection in Hollywood, Tommy suggests they make their own movie. And that’s how we got the 2003 awful-yet-entertaining cult film, The Room.

The Disaster Artist is a case of life imitating art. While Wiseau produced, wrote, directed, and starred in The Room, James directs, produces, and stars in The Disaster Artist. Unlike The RoomThe Disaster Artist is good. Scratch that. It’s great!

James directs and acts with the same level of passion and showmanship; his performance as Wiseau is the best performance I’ve seen all year. It’s much more than a great Tommy Wiseau impression. James brings life, humanity, and spirit to one of the strangest and mysterious celebrities. Sure, he brings on the laughs, but we also feel sorry for him whenever he’s dismissed or belittled (even though Tommy does it to himself).

As Greg Sestero, Dave delivers his best performance. Greg is the straight man, though he has a stronger arc than Tommy. We see Greg grow from a naïve baby face (Tommy’s pet name for him), to a confident actor, and finally to an annoyed-yet-loyal friend. The Franco brothers both show their strong fraternal bond through their characters.

Screenwriting duo Scott Neustadter and Michael H. Weber ((500) Days of Summer and The Spectacular Now) deliver an insightful script that depicts one of the most disastrous film productions in history. The Room was infamous for going over budget, over schedule, being shot on two formats, and several cast and crew members quitting. The Disaster Artist dives into the chaos of the production and we see that some of the depicted moments weren’t funny, but rather horrific. I found myself checking imdb to see how much of the production scenes in The Disaster Artist were true and found myself in awe. Though they risked losing focus with a tame subplot involving Greg’s girlfriend (Dave’s real life wife Allison Brie), I still found myself invested.

At one point, we see Tommy’s cast talking about The Room and actress Carolyn (Jacki Weaver) says the worst day on a film set is better than a boring day in real life This line is one of the many inspiring moments in The Disaster Artist. by the end when Tommy embraces his cult status, I felt provoked to make my own movie.

Grade: A

 

“Lady Bird”

Greta Gerwig’s directorial debut Lady Bird might have 2017’s best prologue and epilogue in film. It sums up the deep love between mother and daughter.

Set in 2003 Sacramento, high school senior Christine (Saoirse Ronan) rebels against her catholic school and overbearing mother (Laurie Metcalf). She goes by Lady Bird, secretly applies for New York colleges against her mom’s wishes, and often stirs up commotions in her catholic school. The film takes place over the course of a year and primarily focuses on Lady Bird’s ups and downs with her mother.

I’m a sucker for coming-of-age films, but I haven’t been blown away by one since 2013’s The Spectacular Now (another A24 film). Well, Lady Bird floored me. It’s poignant, funny, heartbreaking, complex, and near-perfect.

The film feels personal thanks to the realistic relationship of Lady Bird and her mom. Metcalf delivers a career-best performance as Lady Bird’s mom, who’s unpleasant and yet empathetic. The 23-year-old Ronan delivers a committed and convincing performance as the 17-year-old Lady Bird; she knows that her mom has a big heart, despite the unpleasantry. In one tense argument over laundry, Lady Bird understands her mom’s behavior when her mom mentions her own tragic upbringing. There are more powerful character-driven moments throughout the film.

Lady Bird also deals with other serious topics such as politics, religion, sex, and homosexuality. Some of the topics are handled with a sharp satirical edge (the abortion assembly scene had my theater laughing uncontrollably) while others are handled emotionally. There’s a subplot involving Lady Bird’s closeted boyfriend Danny (a terrific Lucas Hedges) who’s torn between his identity and family, which is devastating. Each character Lady Bird meets gives her a life experience and prepares her for the reality of growing up.

Back to the opening and closing scenes, they sum up the complexity of Lady Bird’s relationship with her mom. We see they deeply love each other, but also resent each other for various reasons.

I hate the term “crowd pleaser,” but given my audience’s reactions to Lady Bird, this is a crowd pleaser. It’s also a likely Best Picture contender in the upcoming Oscar season.

Grade: A+

“Happy Death Day”

Hey guys, sorry for the late review on this one. I didn’t get the chance to see Happy Death Day last weekend due to prior engagements, but better late than never! After hearing what my friends had to say, I agree that Happy Death Day is a fun seasonal movie.

Hey guys, sorry for the late review on this one. I didn’t get the chance to see Happy Death Day last weekend due to prior engagements, but…. Hehe didn’t expect a time loop in my review, did you?

Sorority girl Tree (Jessica Rothe) wakes up on her birthday in a nerdy classmate Carter’s (Israel Broussard) dorm room. We learn immediately that Tree is popular despite being nasty to everyone. She coldly tosses her roommate’s birthday cupcake on the floor in front of her, shamelessly sleeps with a married teacher, and blows off her dad. Then someone kills her!

Sorority girl Tree (Jessica Rothe) wakes up on her birthday again and now she’s in a time loop. Who wants to kill her, though? Even Tree acknowledges it could be anyone since she’s pissed off everyone.

What I loved the most about Happy Death Day is that it doesn’t take itself seriously at all. From the opening Universal logo, we know right away this will be a fun, mindless slasher movie. Except it’s not always mindless. It’s kind of brainy.

Happy Death Day isn’t just a 90-minute slasher movie where we watch a girl violently die repeatedly. In fact, it’s not bloody due to the PG-13 rating. Rather than try to get away with lazy PG-13 kills, the filmmakers utilize their rating to focus on satirizing campus life and poke fun at the slasher genre.

There’s a montage set to Demi Lovato’s “Confident” where Tree confronts all her suspects while dying each time. It’s done with no gore and each death more absurd and funny than the previous one. I have to credit director Christopher B. Landon for acknowledging the movie’s absurdity. Also, props to the writers for delivering a well-written protagonist.

Rothe shows range and talent as Tree. While Tree starts out as a typical mean girl, she becomes more sympathetic and we eventually understand why she’s cruel to everyone on her birthday. She even grows spunkier and more fierce each day.

This October’s lineup consists of several horror films. Happy Death Day is still number one after a week and if you have to choose between this and the dull The Snowman, choose Happy Death Day.

Grade: B+

“Logan Lucky”

After a four-year absence from filmmaking, I’m happy to see the versatile Steven Soderbergh (Traffic, Magic Mike, and the Ocean’s trilogy) return with Logan Lucky. It’s nice to see a lighthearted comedy after two months of dark, violent films.

Jimmy (Channing Tatum), Clyde (Adam Driver), and Mellie Logan (Riley Keough) are a trio of bumbling siblings who believe they’re cursed. Jimmy comes up with a plan to reverse their curse – rob Charlotte Motor Speedway during the Coca-Cola 600. With the help of incarcerated thief Joe Bang (Daniel Craig), they put their plan in motion.

There’s a line in Logan Lucky’s second act that describes the heist as “Ocean’s 7-11.” This sums up the film in a nutshell. Soderbergh crisply shoots, edits, and directs Logan Lucky, successfully making us root for a group of ne’er-do-wells.

The Logans aren’t the brightest bulbs, but they have good intentions with the heist (mostly family-related). Jimmy keeps a check list on his fridge reminding him important rules for the job, which adds charm and even comes into play during the heist’s surprise conclusion. Tatum, Driver, and Keough all have great chemistry as the Logan siblings, playing their characters with charisma and heart.

Daniel Craig deserves a Best Supporting Actor nomination as Joe Bang. He’s cool, enigmatic, and insane in this role, often showing some comedic talents. Bang’s the biggest schemer behind the heist and often provides some hilarious and shocking moments.

It’s suspected that Soderbergh wrote the script for Logan Lucky considering no records or interviews can be found with credited writer, Rebecca Blunt. I wouldn’t be surprised if this is the case since Soderbergh is an auteur who craves full creative control. And I say give Soderbergh the full creative control since Logan Lucky is a fun, harmless time at the movies.

Grade: A

The 2017 Half-Time Report

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Hey, guys! First off, I want to say thank you for a great year and supporting Donttalkaboutmovies. This year has been an exciting year in film and you guys motivate me to keep watching movies! On that note, I want to give you guys the half-time report! This is a quick summary of my favorite (and least favorite) movies are so far this year.

In the Action/Adventure category, I was blown away by Edgar Wright’s jukebox musical heist thriller, Baby Driver. This is a candy-colored adrenaline rush that’s music to my ears and better on the second viewing. On the other hand, you can skip King Arthur: Legend of the Sword because it’s quite obvious Guy Ritchie has lost his way.

The Comedy genre has been lacking this year with lackluster films like Rough Night and Sandy Wexler; nonetheless, The Big Sick is a terrific comedy that hits all the right notes as a comedy, romance, drama, and social commentary film.

For the Horror genre, Get Out is king of 2017’s horror roster thus far. Writer/director Jordan Peele has crafted a funny, scary, and provocative horror film about racism. You can skip The Void, Unforgettable, The Belko Experiment, and The Mummy because those were all duds.

The Superhero genre has been booming lately and I can personally recommend Logan, Wonder Woman, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, and Spider-Man: Homecoming. Each movie is great in their own way, but definitely keep Logan away from younger viewers.

The Science Fiction/Fantasy category has been a tad underwhelming, but the Anne Hathaway-helmed Colossal blew my expectations out of the water. If you want a quirky genre movie that explores characters and darker themes, this one’s for you!

I have been slacking in the Drama category this year, but I still found Danny Boyle’s long-waited T2: Trainspotting to be a fun and stylish sequel about nostalgia.

In terms of animation, I’m still telling people to watch the anime film Your Name. I saw this on a whim and don’t regret it, thanks to its beautiful animation and mind-bending narrative.

Thanks for reading! What are your favorite films you’ve seen so far this year?

“The Big Sick”

I’ve been saying since I started watching HBO’s great “Silicon Valley” that Kumail Nanjiani (Dinesh) is the funniest person on television. In “The Big Sick,” he further demonstrates his comedic talent as both co-writer and leading man.

Based on true events in Nanjiani and his wife (and co-writer) Emily V. Gordon’s relationship, Nanjiani is a semi-fictional version of himself. Kumail works as a full-time Uber driver and standup comedian in Chicago where he meets Emily (Zoe Kazan) at one of his shows. What starts as a fling blossoms into something serious for Kumail and Emily, but two things stand between them: his culture and her mysterious illness.

Most rom-coms have a couple meet in the first act, get together and break up in the second act, then reconcile in the final act via a ridiculous scenario. “The Big Sick” defies genre conventions, thanks to Nanjiani and Gordon’s experiences. This is a funny, sweet, and personal film.

Nanjiani shows gifted talent as his fictionalized self, going through a number of emotions. Kumail lies to his loved ones as a defense mechanism and learns that telling the truth helps insecurities. Kazan’s Emily is a great foil to Kumail since she hides certain things from him, which lead to both sad and awkwardly funny scenarios.

Ray Romano and Holly Hunter excel as Kazan’s parents, Beth and Terry. Hunter should be considered for award recognition. She’s high-strung, judgmental, but also an understanding mentor figure to Kumail. The second act primarily focuses on Kumail bonding with them and helping them overcome their differences. It’s nice to see a romantic comedy without the cliched antagonistic parents.

There are scenes with Kumail’s family that risk going this route, but Kumail’s parents’ (Anupam Kher and Zenobia Shroff) logic is understandable. They want Kumail to find happiness, but also consider their way in doing so.

“The Big Sick” is 124 minutes long, but it wastes no time with feelings. The montages are heartwarming, the arguments between Kumail and Emily are heartbreaking, and the standup sequences are insightful. For couples who need a date movie, “The Big Sick” is a perfect choice.

Grade: A