“The Snowman”

After seeing that Tomas Alfredson’s murder mystery The Snowman has a 9% approval on Rotten Tomatoes and Alfredson admitted to not shooting the entire script, I had to see the film to find out how terrible it is. The Snowman isn’t terrible, it’s just bad.

The Sherlock Holmes-like detective Harry Hole (Michael Fassbender) receives a letter at his desk taunting him before being assigned to a homicide case. Another woman is murdered and a snowman is found in her house. With the body count and snowmen rising, can Harry solve a 10-year-old case? He’ll have better chances if he gets a driver’s license and stops drinking!

The biggest strengths in The Snowman are its occasionally haunting cinematography and Fassbender’s committed performance. Part from that, this is a trashy and often confusing thriller. Regardless, I was entertained, so I’ll give The Snowman credit there.

Fassbender’s Harry is a convincing portrayal of both obsessive and addictive personalities. We see Harry’s relationship with Rakel (Charlotte Gainsbourg) failed due to his obsession with work and his alcoholism. It’s a sad subplot, but it would be more emotionally investing if we got Harry’s backstory. On top of that, how does he have a badge if he doesn’t drive and always passes out in public places?

If Alfredson and his three-person team of screenwriters weren’t so focused on a subplot involving a sleazy engineer (JK Simmons sporting a terrible accent) or flashbacks with a washed-up detective (Val Kilmer in his first theatrical film since MacGruber), we might care more about Harry. Harry Hole is an iconic character in Norwegian literature, so why focus on dull supporting characters?

I figured The Snowman would have a sexist character since it’s about a killer with severe mommy issues killing single mothers. That’s fine, but not when the entire script is sexist! Why is every female character depicted as pathetic, helpless, unfaithful, a sex object, and only focused on men? The writers clearly didn’t take George RR Martin’s advice on treating female characters as people.

The trailer for The Snowman had me hopeful that it would be another Prisoners or The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. This was a harsh lesson for me to not have high expectations.

Grade: C-

 

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“Gerald’s Game”

What a year for Stephen King, huh? He’s rolling in royalties from It and The Dark Tower (maybe not so much the latter. Now his controversial novel Gerald’s Game has been adapted for Netflix.

The estranged Gerald (Bruce Greenwood) and Jessie Burlingame (Carla Gugino) take a vacation to spice up their love life. Things take a horrific turn when Gerald suffers a heart attack and leaves Jessie handcuffed to her bed. There’s no neighbors, housekeepers, or travelers nearby. When Jessie has some surreal hallucinations and a starving dog makes its way inside, how will Jessie escape? Can she even?

Writer/director Mike Flanagan (Oculus, Hush) once again delivers a nail-biting genre film that utilizes editing to its full potential. Gerald’s Game isn’t a film you can look away from (and you’ll want to at one particular point), but you must watch; like Oculus, Flanagan splices the film in a way that tricks its viewers.

I want to be abundantly clear that Gerald’s Game is NOT a horror film. Yes, there’s a survival situation, creepy visions, and some grisly moments, but it’s a film about toxic relationships, trauma, and catharsis.

Jessie spends most of her time shackled to the bed recounting her marriage to Gerald. We learn that Gerald was misogynistic, unfaithful, manipulative, and condescending towards Jessie. Jessie also finds catharsis in the situation as she uses this and flashbacks of her traumatic childhood to motivate her.

The underrated Carla Gugino delivers a demanding-yet-graceful performance as Jessie. We don’t just watch her panic, but we also see her interact with an imagined dominant version of herself. These sequences add the right dose of humor. Hopefully, the Academy isn’t too snobby over horror or Netflix and consider Gugino for Best Actress.

Bruce Greenwood (also underrated) is convincing as Gerald. He’s a despicable human in the opening act, but as Jessie imagines their confrontations throughout the film, he becomes more complex.

The final act is a slight copout; It’s a pet peeve of mine when films end in a exposition-fueled narrative explaining what happened in the aftermath. Gerald’s Game disappointingly does this via written letter. Given Flanagan’s unconventional narrative techniques, I would have expected something less straightforward.

Still, Gerald’s Game is a terrific thriller and a great kickoff for the Halloween season.

Grade: A-

Top 5 Worst Stephen King Adaptations

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Welcome back! So, It comes out tonight and leading up to my review, I thought I’d share my top 5 worst Stephen King adaptations. Here we go!

5) Secret Window (2004) – “The most important part is the ending… And this one is perfect.” Not the case in David Koepp’s self-indulgent and predictable thriller. Johnny Depp was good at least.

4) Pet Sematary Two (1992) – Pet Sematary Two isn’t an official adaptation, but it’s an unnecessary sequel. It seems the screenwriter amped up the animal and child deaths while missing the point of its much scarier predecessor.

3) Thinner (1996) – While King is a great writer with some terrific books under his belt, Thinner is one that didn’t need to be adapted. The book centers on a morbidly obese crooked lawyer who’s cursed by a Gypsy to lose weight until he dies. The film adaptation is equally ridiculous and even more disjointed than its source material.

2) Dreamcatcher (2003) – Aliens, psychics, alter egos, a genocidal army general, and an autistic man with the key to saving the world? Talk about unrestrained. The effects are 90’s Sci-Fi Channel-level awful while the dialogue is something out of M. Night Shyamalan’s worst movies.

1) Maximum Overdrive (1986) – Fun fact, King wrote and directed this 80’s crap fest while high on cocaine. It shows! It’s hard to tell what King wanted between a Cold War satire, a 50’s B-movie homage, or a machine gun-fueled Ac/Dc music video. Either way, I don’t even think King knows.

Stay tuned for my review of It.

“Atomic Blonde”

If any movie hasn’t already claimed action sequence of the year, I think David Leitch’s (“John Wick,” the upcoming “Deadpool” sequel) spy thriller “Atomic Blonde” will. A six-minute-long shot featuring a barbaric fist fight, shootout, and car chase has to be worthy, right?

MI6 agent Lorraine Broughton (Charlize Theron) is called to Berlin to obtain a mysterious list. Like most spy movies, this list contains information on undercover agents. She has a buddy cop dynamic with a debauched rock star-like operative, David Percival (James McAvoy) and the two race against time to find the list.

“Atomic Blonde” excels in genre splicing. It has the wide frames, slow pace, and convoluted narrative you’d find in a spy thriller, as well as the neon visuals, brutal violence, and cynical anti-hero found in Neo-Noir. Leitch is somewhat unrestrained in his direction, but “Atomic Blonde” is a blast regardless.

The neon visuals suit the film well due to its setting. “Atomic Blonde” takes place near the end of the Cold War during the collapse of the Berlin Wall, so there’s a strong 80’s aesthetic. Each song is used appropriately (New Order’s “Blue Monday” and George Michael’s “Father Figure”) and we get a brief history lesson on East Berlin. We don’t often see Berlin Wall-related movies, so it’s a refreshing change of setting.

Theron and McAvoy  both deliver fun-yet-committed performances. Between Theron’s stuntwork, dialect, English accent, and expressive moments of silence, she’s the perfect action heroine. Between McAvoy’s charisma, line delivery, and sense of humor, he steals nearly every scene from Theron.

I mentioned “Atomic Blonde” is convoluted and I’m not kidding. By the end, my friend and I were both struggling to figure out the twist ending. Does a spy movie with a cliched list plot need to be this difficult? As I’ve said in past reviews, a confusing ending is enough to warrant a sequel. “Atomic Blonde” is based on a comic book, so it’s bound to happen.

Grade: B